Age Traitor Me?
I may very well be a traitor to my age by stating that there is nothing quite so delicious as seeing a young person verbally torch an older person who has a massive stick up their ass. It is true enough that it is fun to see anyone torch such a person, but it is particularly edifying to see someone from a younger generation perform this feat. I have been a witness to two such stellar events. One performed by yours truly. The other one was performed by a high school friend. Besides being good stories, there is a point to be gleaned from these juvenile tales.
Questioning Authority Started Early
This tale of blatant disregard for authority concerns my fifth-grade teacher, Mr. Parshall. One day He announced to the class that if he saw anyone going to the bathroom the previous period then they could not go before his class. I asked, because I genuinely had a question about this, “what if you have to go?” He responded, “I didn’t know you had that kind of problem Mr. Cleary”. The class was mocking me, making sizzling sounds, as in I got burned. Apparently, this clown decided to measure his self-worth by throwing a gauntlet at the feet of a… fifth grader, who despite my smart-ass record, was seriously asking a question. Well, this fifth grader took the gauntlet and threw it right back at ole Mr. Parshall. I responded by stating “every time I look at you, I get sick”. The sizzling remarks were immediately turned toward him. He then threw me out of class. At which point, I win! He went nuclear, because he had no retort to a…fifth grader. It should not shock anyone that by the end of my 7th. grade year, I was expelled.
Tex to the Rescue
The next tale of youthful disrespect involves a grade school/high school friend. Easily the mellowest guy I have ever known. If there is anyone simply looking for people to get along, it is this guy.
One night I was having a soiree at my house. Alright, you busted me. It was nothing so fancy as a soiree. It was a bunch of over privileged white punks having a beer bash. I had too many parties to count. My parent’s house was large, and perfectly set up to entertain. Add to this that they traveled a lot. Far away travel of the kind that would not see them return early. Add to that the fact that they would never have behaved the way we did in high school, and foolishly trusted my older siblings to maintain order, and you have all the fixings for a series of legendary blowouts.
This particular night was not a huge blowout. It was a relatively small group of friends getting drunk together. As the evening wore on, one of my older sisters came in. She was living in the apartment above the garage at the time but was just poking her head in to see what was up. She was totally cool with my parties, and likely was stopping in to have a beer with us.
As she walked in, she saw a group of us in the hallway by the door, beers in hand, of course. She put on a faux “what the hell is going on here” act. At this point her date, a guy about her age with a ten-gallon hat on his head (this was during the Urban Cowboy fad). Apparently ten-gallon hats inhibit one’s ability to recognize sarcasm and faux outrage, because he clearly thought my sister was serious. He decided to be the macho hero guy, and with a serious voice, said that he can take care of any problem here.
It was at that point that my most mellow friend hit him with the line that is the title of this essay “take it Eaaaaasy Tex”. At which point everyone who heard him, including my sister, broke out laughing. In a moment he was reduced to about 2 and a half feet tall, completely consumed by his ten-gallon hat. Like I said, nothing quite so fun as witnessing something like this.
Is There a lesson in Here Somewhere?
There are a couple of lessons in here, I think. First, it is not today’s kids that are uniquely disrespectful. Kids of every generation have been like this, including whatever generation you are in. You yourself may not have performed such acts of mouthy behavior, but it is likely someone you knew did. Too much is made of the idea of “these kids today”. All that statement says is that you are aging and getting very close to “get off my grass” territory. We should all be a bit more gracious toward young people than that. All we need to do to call forth such graciousness is to remember.
Second, we should keep in mind that over inflated egos should be deflated. The best way is to do what my friend did, use humor. There was no physical challenge, nor any threats. It did defuse the situation. To his credit Urban Cowboy guy did calm down, as he likely realized he misread the room. It is a simple, yet effective way to defuse a situation by deflating the types that tend to aggravate certain encounters.
As for my own example, I stand by that too. That a teacher would go out of his way to try and humiliate a fifth grader, means he needs to be taken down a peg. A different type of person might have genuinely been humiliated in a way that could create real harm. As it turns out, I have, from an early age, never really given a shit about what anyone thinks of me. So, I was well positioned to knock this guy down a peg or two in front of his class. I make no apologies for this. The only thing I threatened was this guy’s ego, so it too can stand as a lesson in how to defuse a situation. I only wish I could have been as eloquent as my friend in the face of Tex.
The point is that some are called to deflate the raging egos of those who seek to intimidate or humiliate. Those of us so called should always keep the Prince of Peace in mind as we do this and use these moments as opportunities to smooth out the rough edges of human interactions. Yes, even a smart-ass kid can give effective witness.
Praise Be to God
