A Story of Reconciliation
What follows is a true story of reconciliation and a friendship between two unlikely people, of whom I am one. It is a story of people who were able to rise above partisan politics and forge a working relationship and a friendship. In short, in a small personal way it shows what moving past the hurts people inflict upon each other can do to make this a better world. It certainly made my world better.
The Backstory
In the late 1980s my brother got involved as the spokesperson for, what turned out to be successful, recall of the then Democratic mayor of my hometown of Omaha. I was involved at a minor volunteer level, and just assumed the worst about this man and his family. I was able to do so because I had never met the man and his family. It wasn’t that I harbored some burning hatred, just the typical partisan assumptions reinforced by hanging around with other like-minded people. There is never a need to reconsider base assumptions when you are living in a bubble.
No, I am not recanting my political beliefs. I am opposed to all political actors, and governmental policy. I was not quite as enlightened then as I am now about these matters, but I was staunchly opposed to at least 90% of what the government did 35 years ago (as opposed to the 115% I am today). So, I would still count myself as not in agreement with the former mayor of Omaha. I would today take the position that it is pointless to recall (or impeach) an officeholder if you are only going to replace them with another. The reasons for this recall are unimportant now. I will only state that no one then or now ever suggested there was anything criminal about this man’s actions. It was heavily context dependent upon what was going on (and wrong in Omaha, NE) at that point in time. The lesson to be learned here is that political differences among people need not make them existential enemies.
Learning the Lesson
I had the happy opportunity to learn this valuable lesson, because, a couple years after the recall election I found myself working in a family-owned pub & grill, for a family I had known for some time. They were proudly Irish, and Irish pubs are known for being hubs of Democratic politics. Not surprisingly, the former mayor was a friend of the owner and his family. He had by then begun a campaign to regain his old job at the next scheduled election, and the bar owner was fully supporting him. There were fundraisers there, and people who attended knew my family connection.
Then that summer, one of the former mayor’s children got a job at the bar. He was hired by the family directly. I was the day-to-day manager, so I was responsible for him getting trained and setting him up for success. It never occurred to me to not to try and do my job to the best of my ability. However, what I did not count on was realizing that this man and his family were good, decent people. They never treated me with anything but respect, and graciousness. In the course of time, my now coworker was working more hours, and had closing responsibilities. He had become a friend. I also came to respect his father, political differences aside. He was a man who did not take political differences to mean you were an existential enemy.
Again, I am not saying that I repudiate my political differences with the former mayor. I do regret not looking more carefully at some of the allegations that swirled about the recall effort, as there was less there than met the eye. That aside, the former mayor and his family could be well understood for harboring animosity toward me. They did not, because they were simply too gracious, and forgiving. They moved past the hurt and acted in an extraordinary manner.
Rising Above It All…and Cashing In
A peak for all these kumbayas came during the mayor’s race, in which my brother was now running for mayor, as well as the former mayor. One Saturday night during the primary season we hosted “Irony Night” at the bar. My colleague wore a “Cleary for Mayor” button, and I wore one of his father’s buttons. A truly ecumenical moment. I must admit the moment, while uplifting, was not really, at that instant, about such ethereal high-mindedness. It was really about tips, because if you show people a good time, they will throw money at you. Nonetheless, the lesson here is that you can overcome these negative situations, and move onto a solid relationship, based upon forgiveness. You just need to let it go.
As an aside, I would be remiss not to mention the owner of the bar and the graciousness he extended to me. During the primary portion of the mayor’s race the owner had a sign in the window for the former mayor. On his own initiative he told me to get one of my brother’s signs in the window as well. He did so because we had a relationship. It may have been primarily employer-employee (I also considered him a friend), but it was a relationship, nonetheless. Relationships mattered more to him than partisan differences, which, I am certain, was why he had me put up the sign.
All this means is that in ways small and large we can rise above partisan differences. We can learn to engage one another as real human beings, not mere caricatures. It was a small thing in the great sweep of human history, but it was a better moment for two people who could have stubbornly held onto past hurts and never gotten past those hurts and found a better relationship as friends.
Life is made up of mostly small moments. The truth is that what we do in those small moments makes a large difference in our lives and the lives of those around us. I am ever grateful for the opportunity to have learned this lesson about rising above and moving on as friends. That lesson will always be with me, even if I long ago spent the tip money we made.
Praise Be to God
